The Apocalypse (minus the metaphysics)
On July 9th, 2006:
(1) Tim Henman/Andy Murray wins Wimbledon;
(2) England wins the World Cup;
(3) Britain literally explodes.
Can you even imagine the days leading up to that Sunday? It would be crazy. The tension would be building from over 120 years of collective sports futility, agony and tears. America can imagine nothing like this--Americans always win the sporting events about which we care.
(Maybe our population is so huge and unevenly spread out that we hold allegiance more to our sports clusters than our national teams.)
Face the facts: the nation as a whole does not care about the Olympics. People kill each other over soccer matches and for two weeks ever year Tim Henman is the biggest celebrity in England.This event, were it to occur, would create pandemonium--utter fucking chaos. Cars on fire all over London? How about buildings exploding all over the whole island. Hell--Ireland, Scotland, and Wales might even blow some shit up. What am I saying--England might blow up Ireland, Scotland and Wales! Watch out Jamaica--you're a tropical firecracker waiting to go!